December 2008
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Things I Didn't Expect to Have Happen to Me Today:
Exit the green room bathroom and stumble upon a girl with a milk pump attached to her chest like a squid tentacle.
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Dan Auerbach - I Want Some More
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My niece tried to sell me an imaginary burger for...
I ate all but two bites and complained to her that the meat patty was undercooked and requested a comp meal. I’m going to teach her Front of House skills even if it’s the last thing I do.
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The Walkmen - Another One Goes By
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Facebook > Mom
Cousin: Your mom told me you have a girlfriend now. Is that true?
Vinh: Did you check my Facebook?
Cousin: Yeah, I looked at it right after she told me.
Vinh: And it said that I'm single right?
Cousin: Yeah.
Vinh: Okay, what's more believable... my mom or Facebook?
Cousin: Facebook.
Vinh: I hope that's answers your question about my relationship status.
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My cousins are making me watch an America's...
To retaliate, I’ve set their alarms for 3:58am.
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Glasvegas - It’s My Own Cheating Heart That...
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Thanks?
Since starting my new job back in June, I’ve had to write a much larger volume of emails than I’m used to. It’s been six solid months and here are the various ways I end emails and what they mean.
Thanks. - If I’m feeling a little nonplussed, I’ll end it with a period. I’d rather not thank them for being a butthead, but I need some passive aggressive way to...
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Whatever happened to cool dreams where I'm an...
Instead, I had a dream last night where while budgeting my expenses for December, I came to the conclusion that I needed to be more careful with my spending. That’s it… that was the dream. What the hell?
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WatchFireplays.
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Broken Social Scene - Mossbraker
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I think people have kids for no other reason than...
Shopping during the holidays exposes me to ten times the crying, greediness and being hit in the torso with plastic pirate swords. All of the things I am not okay with…
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Doctor Octoroc - Super Jingle Bros.
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I'm not the target market.
Caller: Hi my name is [redacted] and I'm calling on behalf of James Lafferty. I'm his assistant and I'm looking to see if he can get some tickets for an upcoming show at your venue.
Vinh: I'm sorry but who do you represent?
Caller: James Lafferty.You might know him from CW's One Tree Hill.
Vinh: Eh... no... sorry... I don't watch that show.
Caller: He's also starring in S. Darko, but it hasn't been released yet.
Vinh: Oh, neat... Hrmm.
Caller: You can google it if you don't believe me.
Vinh: No, that's okay. I'll just take your word for it...
Vinh: So how can I help you?
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I went through a period where I was able to fully...
It ended the day I realized there isn’t a worthy substitute that has the same heart and personality and the same ability to express rage and disapproval as the word “fuck.”
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Can anyone explain scrapbooking to me?
I’m always in a state of awe whenever I go to an art store and see the many aisles dedicated to the craft.
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Lewis Black - My…….virginity
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I forgot to stir my coffee this morning. The first...
My mouth has never been more conflicted.
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When there's a 50% chance of rain, what...
Anything south of 40% means it’s definitely not going to rain, but don’t be surprised if it does. Anything north of 60% means it should probably rain. Anything in the gray area of 50% means they graduated with a C average from the University of Phoenix.
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Did you know that MacGuyver's first name was...
If my first name was Angus, I’d have people refer to me by my last name too…. Or I’d just kill myself.
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Feist - Please Be Patient
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Tina: I didn't know mac users could watch netflix online now
Tina: I watched the first episode of 90210 last night
Tina: Your silence is judgement
Tina: I hate you
Vinh: :)
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Dean Martin - Return to Me (Ritorna-Me)
This...