Unemployment Blog: Day… a lot
There are four distinct stages of unemployment. They are as follows:
0 to 3 months: Optimism
4 to 6 months: Pessimism and discouragement
7 to 9 months: Despair and desperation
10 months and beyond: Optimistic apathy
I’m currently in the optimistic apathy stage. I’ve been out of work for so long now that I don’t really care anymore, but I’m positive that I will get myself out of this funk soon. I do miss the day to day interactions in the work place. I really miss being angry at dumb people. Let’s not forget redundant tasks, and people you want to stab with a pencil because they make meetings go on longer than planned. On the other hand, I have no obligation to wear pants. None. When I have doubts about taking a nap at 1pm, my inner voice asks, “Why wouldn’t you?”
What are the milestones in our lives where you shower a recipient with gifts? Bar mitzvahs, bat mitzvahs, Sweet 16s, college graduation, quinceaƱeras, baby showers, and bridal showers. These are pretty big events in our lives, and they are celebrated accordingly. I strongly believe that finding a job after 11+ months of unemployment is also a big deal, and to celebrate this we should have a Re-Employment Shower. Now I know what you’re thinking. The answer to that is registering at the Apple Store. Wouldn’t you be motivated to find a job after months of unemployment if you had a strong chance of getting a new MacBook? How about pants? I could go for one or two pairs. By lavishing me with gifts, you will not only motivate me to find a job, but you will also be stimulating the economy. My reasons for creating this Re-Employment Shower isn’t completely selfish.