Claw marks in the frozen peas

Veggie Bacon (or what the hell... what the hell??)

I’ve been curious about veggie bacon for several months now, especially with my diet changing for the better (excluding those trips to the candy store next to work to get sour Jelly Bellies). I gave in today and tried a veggie BLT. Oh my, what a mistake. I haven’t been missing out on anything; it’s just not natural. With each bite of the sandwich, I would cringe like I was watching some gnarly YouTube video of an accident but I can’t pull my eyes away. I’ll tell you what, veggie bacon could be a more effective means of beating addiction than an intervention with your family and friends. Can’t get your act together? We’ll make you eat twenty strips just one strip of veggie bacon.

Bacon > Brains

If I was a zombie, would I still enjoy bacon? When the world has been overrun with the undead, if not for bacon, what reason would you have to fight for survival? And don’t say America’s Next Top Model, or I’ll hurt you.