Claw marks in the frozen peas

I miss my brother

I haven’t been close with my brother since we were kids. We’re 5 years and 2 days apart. Whatever my brother did I was always at his side be it backyard soccer, riding bikes, playing tennis, or shooting hoops in the driveway. When he got into his teen years, he got himself mixed with the wrong crowd and we drifted apart. Our relationship has warmed a little over the last few years, but our conversations are few and far between. This isn’t why I miss my brother though.

My brother and the little ones didn’t come home for the holidays this year. Whenever he comes home, I use the opportunity to see whether or not he’s going bald. He is about five inches shorter, so I can just kind of discretely hover around him to observe his hairline. I have older cousins on my mom’s side who aren’t doing so well, and I cringe a little when I see them at family gatherings. Let’s get one thing clear, I’m kind of good looking - especially with a full head of hair. You may be shaking your head at me, but you agree deep down inside. Seeing my brother is almost like looking into my probable future. This is mostly why I miss my brother.

Acquiesce to Imperfect Hair

I remember watching the Jetsons when I was little and admiring the part of the opening introduction where a sleepy George would ride this moving catwalk while robots would groom him for the upcoming day. The best part was when a contraption would slide over his head and do his hair. I want nothing more in life than to have a robot that trims and styles my hair for me every day. I want this more than world peace. In fact, the short list of things I want the most include (in this order): hair robot, MacBook Pro, a delicious cup of minestrone, Chuck from Pushing Daisies, jet car and world peace. What I’m trying to say is… I deserve perfect hair more than a kid in Africa deserves clean drinking water and until this day comes, I’ll just have to settle for looking adequate.

The Thing with Long Hair

When I wake up in the morning, I can’t really jet out to get breakfast without having to shower first. Baseball caps are an option, but why should I ruin this fabulous head of hair? I like to sleep on my side, so by the time I wake up in the morning my hair is all kinds of fro-y. I end up looking like Son Goku from Dragon Ball or at the very least, I look like a Hong Kong movie star.

I’m Not Going Bald.

We had hardwood floors put in a few years ago. The benefits include home value appreciation, low maintenance when compared to carpet, and it just looks good. What they don’t tell you about are the dust bunnies, and the bane of my existence, hair I’ve shed. Seeing all of the hair that accumulates on my bedroom floor makes me feel so sad. Oh, how I loathe it. I assure you though, I’m not going bald. In fact, my hair is so full and luscious that you should be jealous.