Claw marks in the frozen peas

Acquiesce to Imperfect Hair

I remember watching the Jetsons when I was little and admiring the part of the opening introduction where a sleepy George would ride this moving catwalk while robots would groom him for the upcoming day. The best part was when a contraption would slide over his head and do his hair. I want nothing more in life than to have a robot that trims and styles my hair for me every day. I want this more than world peace. In fact, the short list of things I want the most include (in this order): hair robot, MacBook Pro, a delicious cup of minestrone, Chuck from Pushing Daisies, jet car and world peace. What I’m trying to say is… I deserve perfect hair more than a kid in Africa deserves clean drinking water and until this day comes, I’ll just have to settle for looking adequate.

The Thing with Long Hair

When I wake up in the morning, I can’t really jet out to get breakfast without having to shower first. Baseball caps are an option, but why should I ruin this fabulous head of hair? I like to sleep on my side, so by the time I wake up in the morning my hair is all kinds of fro-y. I end up looking like Son Goku from Dragon Ball or at the very least, I look like a Hong Kong movie star.

I'm Not Going Bald.

We had hardwood floors put in a few years ago. The benefits include home value appreciation, low maintenance when compared to carpet, and it just looks good. What they don’t tell you about are the dust bunnies, and the bane of my existence, hair I’ve shed. Seeing all of the hair that accumulates on my bedroom floor makes me feel so sad. Oh, how I loathe it. I assure you though, I’m not going bald. In fact, my hair is so full and luscious that you should be jealous.