Claw marks in the frozen peas

Porno is the number one keyword term that drives traffic to my tumblr. A few things:

1. Who googles “porno?”
2. Average time on site is 20 seconds, which means they’re like, “Hey wait a second, there’s not one single tit on this site… just some twat who writes all of these posts.”
3. I’m pretty sure there’s no porno on my site, but I’ll have to look into accommodating shifts in market demands. I knew this marketing degree would be good for something… turns out it’s for monetizing boners.