So far, I only have my name typed out. This brings me back to the days of writing papers for school.
Other things I’ve done instead of working on this press release:
- Drank a blended chai tea
- Ate a banana
- Ate a piece of cheese
- Ate a Kashi granola bar
- Ate a fruit snack
- Googled pictures of llamas and pandas to prove a point
- Watched the rainfall
- Ate lunch
It’s not going to get done today.
Tags:
press releases
work
college
term papers
thoughts
The threat of a proper spanking.
I’ve seen too many people make the same mistakes, not putting forth the right effort and doing just enough to skate by. Verbal or written infractions do nothing to stop future occurrences. I propose we begin taking people out back and spanking them. A good old fashioned barehanded smack to the ass. They’ll be so embarrassed that it should never happen again. I know I wouldn’t want to be spanked if I made a mistake. If you want to be spanked, well we’ll just leave that for another discussion. I know what you’re thinking…. what if they file a complaint? No one is going to believe it. Who in their right mind would spank another adult as punishment? I’m not an advocate for physical violence, but I do feel strongly about efficiency (and intimidation) in the workplace.
Tags:
spanking
thoughts
work
It wasn’t helping that I wore a pair of Chucks. My awkwardness did nothing to stop me from eating the hell out of that tasty Risotto.
Tags:
food
thoughts
work
lunch
I designed this flower arrangement for a funeral that took place for one of my co-workers. He unexpectedly passed away last week from Pancreatic Cancer. The wreath didn’t come out exactly like I had imagined, but he would’ve liked it anyway.
Tags:
work
photo
Wearing a tie to the company holiday party and I feel ridiculous. Also, I don’t know why there’s a chair in the shower. And yes, we’re celebrating Christmas in January.
Tags:
me
work
We’re doing a balloon drop tonight.
Tags:
balloons
work
When they finally get it right after a few dozen attempts, you just want to feed them biscuit treats and also, snuggle with them.
Tags:
work
puppies
Since starting my new job back in June, I’ve had to write a much larger volume of emails than I’m used to. It’s been six solid months and here are the various ways I end emails and what they mean.
Thanks. - If I’m feeling a little nonplussed, I’ll end it with a period. I’d rather not thank them for being a butthead, but I need some passive aggressive way to act out.
Thanks - There is no period to close it out. I hate you so much that I won’t even punctuate it.
Thank you - I’m only saying it because I have to, but I don’t want to. I’m not your friend and I never will be.
Thanks! - This is my most common use. The exclamation denotes that I really mean it! But let’s be honest, I just don’t care.
Tags:
thanks
work
thoughts
If the situation came down to it, I’d rather take off my pants.
Tags:
sweater
work
Someone at work told me this horrifying story on Friday. She used to work with this girl who started becoming ill for no apparent reason. This persisted for a really long time and doctors had no clue as to what was causing her sickness. They later discovered that a black widow had crawled up her nose while she slept and died. It’s carcass then leaked poison into her body, thus making her ill. Spiders need to be destroyed immediately. No exceptions.
Tags:
spiders
work