Claw marks in the frozen peas

LINK
6 notes

I’ve spent the last three and a half hours writing a press release.

So far, I only have my name typed out. This brings me back to the days of writing papers for school.

Other things I’ve done instead of working on this press release:
- Drank a blended chai tea
- Ate a banana
- Ate a piece of cheese
- Ate a Kashi granola bar
- Ate a fruit snack
- Googled pictures of llamas and pandas to prove a point
- Watched the rainfall
- Ate lunch

It’s not going to get done today.

#press releases #work #college #term papers #thoughts

February 16, 2009

1 year ago

LINK
5 notes

I have the answer to increasing productivity in the workplace.

The threat of a proper spanking.

I’ve seen too many people make the same mistakes, not putting forth the right effort and doing just enough to skate by. Verbal or written infractions do nothing to stop future occurrences. I propose we begin taking people out back and spanking them. A good old fashioned barehanded smack to the ass. They’ll be so embarrassed that it should never happen again. I know I wouldn’t want to be spanked if I made a mistake. If you want to be spanked, well we’ll just leave that for another discussion. I know what you’re thinking…. what if they file a complaint? No one is going to believe it. Who in their right mind would spank another adult as punishment? I’m not an advocate for physical violence, but I do feel strongly about efficiency (and intimidation) in the workplace.

#spanking #thoughts #work

February 4, 2009

1 year ago

LINK
4 notes

I was the only one wearing jeans to a $150/plate fundraiser thrown by the Mayor.

It wasn’t helping that I wore a pair of Chucks. My awkwardness did nothing to stop me from eating the hell out of that tasty Risotto.

#food #thoughts #work #lunch

January 27, 2009

1 year ago

LINK
4 notes

I designed this flower arrangement for a funeral that took place for one of my co-workers. He unexpectedly passed away last week from Pancreatic Cancer. The wreath didn’t come out exactly like I had imagined, but he would’ve liked it anyway.

#work #photo

January 16, 2009

1 year ago

LINK
10 notes

Wearing a tie to the company holiday party and I feel ridiculous. Also, I don’t know why there’s a chair in the shower. And yes, we’re celebrating Christmas in January.

#me #work

January 12, 2009

1 year ago

LINK
5 notes

We’re doing a balloon drop tonight.

#balloons #work

1 year ago

LINK
5 notes

Coercing a naive coworker to do things correctly is no different than teaching a puppy to do its business on the newspaper you’ve laid out.

When they finally get it right after a few dozen attempts, you just want to feed them biscuit treats and also, snuggle with them.

#work #puppies

January 6, 2009

1 year ago

LINK
4 notes

Things I Didn’t Expect to Have Happen to Me Today:

Exit the green room bathroom and stumble upon a girl with a milk pump attached to her chest like a squid tentacle.

#work

December 31, 2008

1 year ago

LINK
8 notes

Thanks?

Since starting my new job back in June, I’ve had to write a much larger volume of emails than I’m used to. It’s been six solid months and here are the various ways I end emails and what they mean.

Thanks. - If I’m feeling a little nonplussed, I’ll end it with a period. I’d rather not thank them for being a butthead, but I need some passive aggressive way to act out.
Thanks - There is no period to close it out. I hate you so much that I won’t even punctuate it.
Thank you - I’m only saying it because I have to, but I don’t want to. I’m not your friend and I never will be.
Thanks! - This is my most common use. The exclamation denotes that I really mean it! But let’s be honest, I just don’t care.

#thanks #work #thoughts

December 18, 2008

1 year ago

LINK
2 notes

I'm not the target market.

Caller: Hi my name is [redacted] and I'm calling on behalf of James Lafferty. I'm his assistant and I'm looking to see if he can get some tickets for an upcoming show at your venue.
Vinh: I'm sorry but who do you represent?
Caller: James Lafferty.You might know him from CW's One Tree Hill.
Vinh: Eh... no... sorry... I don't watch that show.
Caller: He's also starring in S. Darko, but it hasn't been released yet.
Vinh: Oh, neat... Hrmm.
Caller: You can google it if you don't believe me.
Vinh: No, that's okay. I'll just take your word for it...
Vinh: So how can I help you?

#One Tree Hill #James Lafferty #work #chat

December 11, 2008

1 year ago

LINK
4 notes

Pants wasn’t looking diabolical enough, so I gave him facial hair. Now he looks like he’s going after my oil. What the heck?

#Pants #robots #Arts and Crafts #work #photo

December 10, 2008

1 year ago

LINK
2 notes

To hide the fact that my shirt is wrinkled, I’m wearing a sweater and I won’t be taking it off no matter how warm it gets.

If the situation came down to it, I’d rather take off my pants.

#sweater #work

November 11, 2008

1 year ago

LINK
4 notes

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Someone at work told me this horrifying story on Friday. She used to work with this girl who started becoming ill for no apparent reason. This persisted for a really long time and doctors had no clue as to what was causing her sickness. They later discovered that a black widow had crawled up her nose while she slept and died. It’s carcass then leaked poison into her body, thus making her ill. Spiders need to be destroyed immediately. No exceptions.

#spiders #work

November 10, 2008

1 year ago

LINK
1 note

Co-Worker 1: Everything about Vinh is awesome
Co-Worker 2: Everything about Vinh *is* awesome
Co-Worker 1: This paper cutter cuts perfectly because it has Vinhness attached to it
Co-Worker 3: Why don't you just get down and kiss Vinh's balls already
Vinh: Hi

#me #work #chat

November 7, 2008

1 year ago

LINK
2 notes

Reasons Why Tonight was Awesome

1. I met seriouslythough who was really nice and didn’t murder me.
2. She & Him was absolutely phenomenal.
3. We realized we were sitting next to Ben Gibbard during the entire show. I talked to him and the interaction went like this:

Vinh: *touches Ben’s arm* ….Hi
Vinh: Excuse me … err… are you Ben?
Ben: Yes.
Vinh: …
Ben: …
Vinh: Err… Ben Gibbard?
Ben: Yes.
Vinh: Really? Oh, I mean… I’m a fan of your music.
Ben: Oh, thank you.
Vinh: Um okay then.

Ben didn’t murder either of us, so that’s a plus.

#She & Him #Ben Gibbard #music #work

November 5, 2008

1 year ago